The person who is closest to you is the one who can teach you the most. When I say closest, I don't necessarily mean our spouse or closest friend. It can also be someone who you have to interact with on a frequent basis but whom you would not consider a friend. Closeness means irritation. They may or not be in our physical space, like a spouse, but they are definitely in our mental space, as we think about them frequently. They can be someone halfway around the world, or they can be someone who we have not seen in years but for whom we hold a lot of anger. There are a lot of possibilities. Because they are so "close," we see a reflection of ourselves in them. Those qualities we like and those we do not like about ourself are projected on to them. This relationship is usually two sided, but it may be one sided, like someone who you have not seen in years. This person is a mirror in to our
soul. They hold the key to your salvation if you will only see the gift they offer to you. You may see God in most situations and in most people, but when you encounter this person that you can not forgive, then you are holding back on seeing God fully within yourself. The times when you hate or cannot forgive this person is when you see them as separate, thus during these times you are seeing yourself as separate. They are in your life because of Love. As Love, you have called that person, you have called those anger and unforgiving thoughts to you, so that you can heal the idea of separation within yourself and see yourself as you truly are, as Love. This person or these thoughts are constantly bothering you because they are calling out to be healed, and until this false belief in separation is finally dropped, the aggravation/thoughts will continue. What do you do with a pattern that keeps repeating itself? Try another way of reacting to it. My wife and I have been through much of what I have described. We were like two rough diamonds which were used to polish each other. There have been many times when I was mad at her, and my mind came up with all of this "proof" that I was right. But my mind/ego wanted to continue the conflict, because that is how it survives. I could choose to either be right or happy, and I always chose, sometimes after extended periods, to be happy. I always saw her and her actions as a gift which helped me to better see myself as Love. As I did that, my recognition and remembrance of my Oneness and Love with God flourished.
Suggested action: Next time you have an "attack" thought related to someone close to you, like your spouse or a close friend, take a step back and witness that you are having this thought. The same action can be used if you are having anger thoughts at someone who you knew in the past. When you witness the thought, at that moment you can choose to take a different course, to have a different reaction. Choose to see the person and their actions as a gift of Love. Choose to see that you are bringing this to yourself, because we are One. Be ready for the peace this non reaction brings to you!