Guilt and Our Partner

As a follow up to my last post, I want to comment on guilt within those close relationships. Guilt is usually present when there is friction between you and that person close to you. You feel like you are not doing it right or you are not doing enough, especially when that person expresses their anger toward you or their dissatisfaction with a situation that you can supposedly control. It doesn't matter whether their anger is justified, because that is only their perception, and that is an illusion. What matters is that the guilt is arising to be dealt with. Remember, everything that arises is a teacher for you in order for you to recognize who you truly are. Guilt is no exception. It is a gift of Love to show you that you are also Love. Guilt goes back to the beginning of time. It arose with fear when we first believed that we had separated from God. This "original" guilt calls out to be healed as it appears everywhere --- in our relationships, in our religions. Because our fear of facing this guilt, we have collectively created a belief that guilt is beneficial. We believe that guilt will alter our future thoughts or actions. So the cycle goes something like this. We feel separate from God because of our belief in separation. This feeling of separation leads us to judge our thoughts and actions, because we do not know our Oneness and we think that how we perceive the world is reality (we are also in the future and not in the present moment.) When we judge these thoughts and actions as bad instead of seeing them as neutral, we look to guilt to "save" us. Guilt is our Savior. We accept ourselves as guilty, thus we hope to preempt the punishment that we believe is coming. In our relationship with God, we judged ourselves as guilty instead of waiting for God's true judgment on His Son, that being that we are completely sinless. So in our relationships with others, we play out what happened with God. We, not the other person, decide whether we are guilty. They may or may not think that we are guilty, and it is all an illusion anyway, because both their judgment and our judgment is based on perception, not reality. So we decide to go ahead and punish ourselves, and in doing so we "love" the guilt for taking care of our "sins" and for teaching us, in a so gentle way, how not to do the same action or have the same thought the next time. Of course, we do the same thing again, and we look to guilt to save us another time. Only when we go to the root of the guilt and to the illusory belief behind it can we break the cycle. And when guilt no longer arises in you, then guess what does --- GOD!

Our Partner Is A Gift

The person who is closest to you is the one who can teach you the most. When I say closest, I don't necessarily mean our spouse or closest friend. It can also be someone who you have to interact with on a frequent basis but whom you would not consider a friend. Closeness means irritation. They may or not be in our physical space, like a spouse, but they are definitely in our mental space, as we think about them frequently. They can be someone halfway around the world, or they can be someone who we have not seen in years but for whom we hold a lot of anger. There are a lot of possibilities. Because they are so "close," we see a reflection of ourselves in them. Those qualities we like and those we do not like about ourself are projected on to them. This relationship is usually two sided, but it may be one sided, like someone who you have not seen in years. This person is a mirror in to our soul. They hold the key to your salvation if you will only see the gift they offer to you. You may see God in most situations and in most people, but when you encounter this person that you can not forgive, then you are holding back on seeing God fully within yourself. The times when you hate or cannot forgive this person is when you see them as separate, thus during these times you are seeing yourself as separate. They are in your life because of Love. As Love, you have called that person, you have called those anger and unforgiving thoughts to you, so that you can heal the idea of separation within yourself and see yourself as you truly are, as Love. This person or these thoughts are constantly bothering you because they are calling out to be healed, and until this false belief in separation is finally dropped, the aggravation/thoughts will continue. What do you do with a pattern that keeps repeating itself? Try another way of reacting to it. My wife and I have been through much of what I have described. We were like two rough diamonds which were used to polish each other. There have been many times when I was mad at her, and my mind came up with all of this "proof" that I was right. But my mind/ego wanted to continue the conflict, because that is how it survives. I could choose to either be right or happy, and I always chose, sometimes after extended periods, to be happy. I always saw her and her actions as a gift which helped me to better see myself as Love. As I did that, my recognition and remembrance of my Oneness and Love with God flourished.

Suggested action: Next time you have an "attack" thought related to someone close to you, like your spouse or a close friend, take a step back and witness that you are having this thought. The same action can be used if you are having anger thoughts at someone who you knew in the past. When you witness the thought, at that moment you can choose to take a different course, to have a different reaction. Choose to see the person and their actions as a gift of Love. Choose to see that you are bringing this to yourself, because we are One. Be ready for the peace this non reaction brings to you!

In The World But Not Of It

There is so much static in this world that hides what is truly there, what is truly inside of you. We are bombarded with the "world." Everywhere we turn there is a television that is blaring. The Internet tells us what is happening that exact moment. All of this is false. It takes you away from yourself. All of this static adds to the workings of your mind. It keeps the mind twirling with thought and covers the thoughts that you have with God. For your Self is part of the Mind of God. And that is what you need to keep in perspective. When you see a deep lake which has a surface that is whipped by waves, you can find complete stillness at the bottom of the lake. Underneath the static of the world, which is only a false appearance, you find complete stillness. For there can truly be no change to the body of God. But we can live in the world but not be of it. We can participate in the activities and duties while knowing that inner stillness and peace. We can know what is false and what is Real.

Suggested action: For a week turn off the computer, television and radio. Try to take a long walk alone in the woods every one of those days and listen to the wind and the trees speaking to you, for this is the language of God. Isolate yourself as much as possible, but only for this week. The static will die down and there will be some type of opening. God, the peace, the stillness, is talking to you in very moment, but now you will be attempting to listen, and your little bit of willingness is all that is needed to make the heavens sing.

Creation

We are coming back today from a family vacation on the Big island of Hawaii. The power of creation rings through loud and clear on this island. The volcano is very active, and there is a lot of lava flowing above ground. We went to see where the lava meets the ocean, and the lava is coming out of a lava tube and shooting up to 1000 feet in the sky. Nature's fireworks. When the lava enters the ocean, there is a huge cloud of steam and gas which goes up for miles. Two powerful forces coming together at the same time to help us remember who we are, for you can't look upon this show and not feel an awe for God. Creation starts with you. Just as the lava bubbles up from deep within the Earth, creative forces and change come from deep within you. Just like the lava, there is no way to stop this creation, this constant change which is happening inside of you. Many of us try to not feel this change by numbing it through any number of ways, but just like the lava, the change is always coming up to be vented, recognized, and honored. Since God is Love, Creation within this human experience happens through the emotions. We were created out of Love, so that God, as Love, could have an experience (loving as in a verb) of Himself, of Herself. The lava meets the water, just as the creation within us meets our ocean of emotions. We have to be emotionally stable and fully express our emotions for us to be carried along on the River of Creation (the River of lava.) Creation's purpose is the expression and expansion of Love. Love, like water and like the lava, always seeks the lowest point in order to have all of Creation, to have all of you and everyone, be washed with the redemptive and forgiving waters of Love. God is Stillness, but Creation is never stagnant. It is always seeking to expand and further complete Itself. This is well represented in the physical, as the islands created long ago by these volcanoes slowly submerge under the Pacific plate, only to be reborn in a newer state many years later as they are again brought back up as magma. Just like the caterpillar becomes liquid goo before it is reborn as a butterfly. So all land on the Earth renews itself, just as our physical bodies are in a constant state of renewal and repair. But one day these bodies return to dust and will be turned back in to the elements that will make for another day of Creation. That is why you cannot see yourself as a body. The body is only a physical tool of Creation. A tool for Love to know Herself in a more expansive way.

Suggested action: Take a look at some pictures on the Internet of the flowing lava and where it meets the ocean. Feel the power of Creation, and know that this power is inside of you, is you. If you know that you are One with this power, then you know that you are One with God.

Conflict

We all have to deal with conflict. It is presented to us to help us better see who we are, to help us see that we are Love. When conflict is present, we can choose to either stay in it or to not stay in it. It is that simple, just like everything on this journey. You either choose God or you choose the world. When we choose to stay in conflict, we are on the surface of a lake which is thrashed by hurricane winds, but if we choose to not be in conflict, we move to the perfect Stillness at the bottom of the lake. Your best "opportunities" to grow from conflict are usually presented by someone close to you like a spouse or a child. Be grateful for these gifts that they give you to better see yourself as you truly are. That is why I say in my book that there is little growth if you isolate yourself. That doesn't only mean someone who goes to India or lives in a cave. If you surf the web for hours, watch television all the time, stay away from people, etc. There are innumerable ways people sabotage their own growth. My relationship with my wife has certainly been one where there was friction at times. We were like two rough diamonds being used to polish each other. As you grow in your remembrance and recognition of your Oneness with God, you choose conflict less and less. The part of you who still wants conflict has an increasingly smaller role to play, although when it wants to reassert itself, it can come back out with a vengeance. After you have had no conflict for a while, it shoots out unexpectedly, and you ask yourself where did that come from. It is so far to the opposite extreme to what you now know yourself. At some point you cannot fathom conflict any more. Not only is it the opposite of your true Self, but you can no longer handle hurting someone, which is always the case if they are arguing with you. If you are both part of the conflict, you are both in the illusion, and you are both forgetting who you really are. If you believe that you can be attacked, you also labor under the false belief that you can be harmed. Under this insane thought system, your only response would be to attack back. You believe that your strength lies in defensiveness, not defenselessness. But if you are centered in your Love for God, you realize that this is all an illusion. You can never be attacked, nor can you be harmed. Thus you do not attack back. If you are asked to follow through on a crazy request, you go ahead with it. If you try to fight it or argue about it, you are falling in to the same illusory space as the person who asked you to do it. In fact, if you are centered in God, you do not "see" the request as crazy. Your view is one from the bottom of the lake.

Suggested action: The next time you feel yourself getting angry and wanting to argue with someone, simply ask yourself if this is what you want to do. Remember that you are reinforcing one of two paths. One path leads to peace and joy, and the other keeps you on the surface of the lake. You may "win" the argument, but at what cost to your peace. And what part of you --- the false self or the Real Self --- are you asking to lead your life.