We create the need for forgiveness in OUR mind. By thinking that someone has hurt or offended us, treated us poorly in some way, we believe that we must forgive to heal. And as long as we hold the belief that we have been hurt, there appears to exist the need to forgive.
But these are our thoughts --- not universally held and thus not real. This applies from the most "minor" to the most "egregious" offense that we see as having been done to us --- from a simple comment by someone you barely know to sexual abuse by a parent. In all cases we are "offended" and see the need for forgiveness. It is just that with something like sexual abuse there are so many layers of emotions tied up that we create this expansive story in our heads which requires forgiveness. But once we feel and untangle that emotional web, once we are no longer controlled by the emotions but make peace with them, we can see the act of sexual abuse or rape for what it is --- another experience in our life --- and release the false beliefs and storyline around it that requires forgiveness.
Certainly, as we release false beliefs, it is more difficult to do that around family members. A stranger may say or do something that has no effect, but the same thing done by a family member is very painful. This is because the family member is a long term part of the story you have created --- the one you don't want to disentangle from. So even forgiveness --- not even considering a higher perspective where forgiveness is not needed --- becomes difficult. But even though your family member is a leading character in your story, it is still a story and they are no different than any other part of God you encounter.
Forgiveness can be an important step when you are in the middle of healing an experience, but it is only a temporary step which then allows us to move to a higher perspective. Just as we can never truly be hurt because we are Divine beings, God has no need to forgive us because we have never done anything which requires His forgiveness. You are still in the holy moment of your Creation. You have never separated from Him.
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These posts are similar to the over 2100 contained on The Divine Speaks website (www.thedivinespeaks.com) where God gives YOU the one that you need to hear at that time. Lawrence is the author of three books on emotional and spiritual healing, including "Thirteen Steps To Move From Victim Consciousness To God Consciousness: Healing Traumatic Experiences Including Sexual, Physical, Emotional, And Mental Abuse." He is available for fee based spiritual and life counseling. Please contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org