Friday, July 04, 2008

Conflict

We all have to deal with conflict. It is presented to us to help us better see who we are, to help us see that we are Love. When conflict is present, we can choose to either stay in it or to not stay in it. It is that simple, just like everything on this journey. You either choose God or you choose the world. When we choose to stay in conflict, we are on the surface of a lake which is thrashed by hurricane winds, but if we choose to not be in conflict, we move to the perfect Stillness at the bottom of the lake. Your best "opportunities" to grow from conflict are usually presented by someone close to you like a spouse or a child. Be grateful for these gifts that they give you to better see yourself as you truly are. That is why I say in my book that there is little growth if you isolate yourself. That doesn't only mean someone who goes to India or lives in a cave. If you surf the web for hours, watch television all the time, stay away from people, etc. There are innumerable ways people sabotage their own growth. My relationship with my wife has certainly been one where there was friction at times. We were like two rough diamonds being used to polish each other. As you grow in your remembrance and recognition of your Oneness with God, you choose conflict less and less. The part of you who still wants conflict has an increasingly smaller role to play, although when it wants to reassert itself, it can come back out with a vengeance. After you have had no conflict for a while, it shoots out unexpectedly, and you ask yourself where did that come from. It is so far to the opposite extreme to what you now know yourself. At some point you cannot fathom conflict any more. Not only is it the opposite of your true Self, but you can no longer handle hurting someone, which is always the case if they are arguing with you. If you are both part of the conflict, you are both in the illusion, and you are both forgetting who you really are. If you believe that you can be attacked, you also labor under the false belief that you can be harmed. Under this insane thought system, your only response would be to attack back. You believe that your strength lies in defensiveness, not defenselessness. But if you are centered in your Love for God, you realize that this is all an illusion. You can never be attacked, nor can you be harmed. Thus you do not attack back. If you are asked to follow through on a crazy request, you go ahead with it. If you try to fight it or argue about it, you are falling in to the same illusory space as the person who asked you to do it. In fact, if you are centered in God, you do not "see" the request as crazy. Your view is one from the bottom of the lake.

Suggested action: The next time you feel yourself getting angry and wanting to argue with someone, simply ask yourself if this is what you want to do. Remember that you are reinforcing one of two paths. One path leads to peace and joy, and the other keeps you on the surface of the lake. You may "win" the argument, but at what cost to your peace. And what part of you --- the false self or the Real Self --- are you asking to lead your life.

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