Friday, September 23, 2011

Expectations

Expectations will bring you nothing but disappointment. Sure, you can expect the mail to be delivered or your son to take out the garbage, but I am talking about expectations you have about what your loved ones and friends should say, how they should act, etc. When we place expectations on someone close to us, we are giving that person a burden, sometimes a conscious one and sometimes an unconscious one. And people resent burdens. In effect, you are saying to them that they are not good enough as they are --- that they have to change or do something differently to meet your standard of acceptance. If you love me, you will ....

When a relationship is based on unspoken expectations, it is not authentic. It is not based on complete honesty, which is what centers us in God. If you and the other person can get to the point where you can voice your expectations of each other, and you can voice how this makes you feel in terms of resentment and being a burden, you are breaking down barriers to allow Love to reveal itself. These barriers have prevented you from seeing each other for who you truly are. What you have been seeing is the false image each of you needs to be in each other's eyes, because your expectations of this other person are a crutch that you want in order to uphold and validate a false image you have of yourself. When you know your Oneness with Him, you need no outside validation. You already have the Kingdom.

In marriage even the belief that your spouse should love you is an expectation that is false. It is a false construct that has arisen from society. Imagine the quality of the Love that can come from your spouse, not because you expect it, but because they want to give it, joyously and unconditionally. This Love is very close to the Love that God has for you and you for Him.

An amazing thing happens when you have no expectations. Everything you receive is a gift! And you are so very grateful for these gifts which begin to spread to all areas of your life. How would it feel to be so grateful for every aspect of your life from every experience you have to every person you encounter?

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