Friday, November 25, 2011

Grief and Sadness

There are many men, and some women, who are afraid of crying or resistant to it. They do not want to be seen as vulnerable, as society says they should be strong, especially the men. Strength comes from knowing who you are, and you cannot know this when you do not express your full range of emotions. In the Kingdom there is only joy, but as we make our way to full recognition of the Kingdom, we exist in this dream world where it is important to express your sadness and to grieve when a person or an animal you love dies. It is also important to grieve when you leave something where you have invested a lot of yourself, such as a relationship or a job. When we allow ourselves to express sadness or grief, we are not vulnerable, we are powerful. A man or a woman who does not let society dictate how they should feel and what they should express is authentic. Authenticity means we are completely open, and when we are open, God can express through us. When we allow ourselves to grieve and express sadness, we are alive. If we stuff our grief or sadness, it doesn't go away. It is still in there, affecting every thing you do and clogging your vessel so you can't feel the joy of the Kingdom.


  • At 10:44 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    A few weeks ago I lost my son to a terminal illness. I have been struggling everyday just to make it through. My grief is so heavy I frequently decline opportunities to go outside the home. I saw myself as weak and afraid my grief would "bring others down." I never thought of myself as authentic, opening up my true feelings. You are exactly correct: When we invest so much into something and then lose it, sadness overcomes us. Thank you for your help.

  • At 8:09 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    My husband, has AML (leukemia) and we are struggling daily with his care and treatments!
    I feel that I have to be strong for him and our children. Therefore I do not allow myself to cry or show signs of fear. I know this is not good for me, maybe it is part of my many years of professional training as a nurse. But GOD help me, I need to open up and get these tears out!

  • At 8:49 PM , Blogger Lawrence Doochin said...

    I am so sorry for the mom that lost your son and for the wife's whose husband has AML. It is important that you allow your grief to come out. For the wife who wants to be strong for your husband, express your grief and tears in privacy. This will then allow you to be much stronger for your husband. Right now the grief may be clouding your ability to be fully present for him, which is what he needs. It is normal for both you AND him to have a lot of sadness around his illness. Because you allow yourself to cry when the sadness comes to the surface does not mean that the sadness will overtake you and that you will be in it all the time. You won't. God's Grace will allow for joy even in the midst of the sadness, as long as you don't resist the sadness. From expressing the sadness you can find a strength that you did not know you had, and you can find the best way to deal with the illness.


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