Are you allowing your natural feelings to arise or are you feeling what you think you should feel? If you are feeling what you think you should feel, this is originating from thought and is not a true feeling. For example, let's say that you are mad at a friend who you feel has betrayed you, and you find out that person has terminal cancer. Do you think that you can't be mad and you should have compassion? And if you don't feel that way, you are a "bad" person? This is where a lot of falsehoods intersect. First, self judgment is what cuts us off from God. So do not judge how you are feeling. If you are still feeling mad, honor that. Now, you may want to change that as it is does not bring you peace, but you can't change the anger by stuffing it or saying that it is inappropriate to feel it. Once you have accepted and honored that feeling of anger, then you can give it to God. This may not be the end of the anger, but you are allowing it to pass through you without resistance. When you have finally processed the anger and forgiven, then the compassion for this person will arise in you naturally, not forced by your thought that you should be feeling something.