When you need to find out something from someone, ask them directly. So many people are afraid to even ask a question --- they would rather not know. And even if a question is asked, many phrase it so that their intent is unclear. It is almost as if they are ashamed to ask it or they really don't want to hear the answer. You cannot make decisions, you cannot live an authentic life, have authentic relationships, unless you are completely honest and direct. This doesn't mean you have to hurt someone's feelings when you ask the question. It also doesn't mean that their answer will hurt your feelings, although this is possible. Remember, be direct in all your relationships as this makes them authentic. This includes your relationship with God. There has been so many layers of dogma and expectations and shoulds that have been laid down by others who have made it look as if we have to do all these things to get to Him. Go direct! Direct equals simplicity equals authenticity.