Your salvation is up to you. It is not outside of you. It is not contingent on events in the world or what others do or don't do for you, as if they acted differently or said something you want to hear, everything would be okay. Your salvation depends on how you see yourself and your relationship with God --- how you see, whether you remember, the Oneness that is NOW and always has been. Whether y...ou acknowledge and KNOW that Christ is waiting to be remembered and reborn within you. That you are His most holy and blessed child, sinless and perfect like Him, as He created you from Himself. Rejoice, for your recognition of your salvation is up to you and eternally established in Him. Nothing "outside" of you can change this.