Enlightenment
You think that you want to be enlightened, but enlightenment is an ego concept, because you cannot strive for something which you already are. You are already in the Light. You are the Light. There is no journey to be undertaken --- it is simply your recognition of who you are and the recognition of your Oneness with God. What you truly want is to be free of judgment and expectations. This brings you the joy, peace, and Love you seek.
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