Friday, January 14, 2011

True Forgiveness

When most people think of forgiveness, they think of the Christian model. Under this view, the person is forgiven for what they did. "What they did" is the important term here, because it is implicit that an act happened. So basically what is being said is, "well I forgive you but I won't forget what you did, and I am being gracious/taking the moral high ground to do this for you." Who would want to be forgiven under this scenario? If you don't forget what that person did and you don't see it in a different light, that is not forgiveness. There still exists an unhealthy connection, a resentment and bitterness, an expectation, between the person who is forgiving and the person being forgiven. There is not a release for either person. The forgiver thinks he is better off because they have done the "right" thing, but the forgiver has put himself in a prison of his own making.

What is true forgiveness? True forgiveness sees from a much broader view. The above example of forgiveness is how the ego mind sees it, because it believes in separation and bodies, and it believes this world is real. When we see from a perspective of unity, there are not bodies that can "do something to us." We are One, and what is done to us, is done by us. Why would you need to forgive yourself for something you did to yourself? When we see the world and our encounters with the understanding that this is all a dream of separation, we realize that there is a purpose for everything that occurs. Further, as we are One with God, we are Love, and everything that occurs is Love, even when it has the appearance of something else. As the author of our dream, we pull everything and everyone to us that we ask for. We do this so that these experiences can help us to remember, help us to awaken from the dream. So when something happens to you that you feel is an "attack", remember that you have drawn this experience to you. YOU have asked for it to occur. Any experience, regardless of how "horrific", can be turned from one where you hold anger, resentment, and bitterness, to one where you see it as a blessing.

4 Comments:

  • At 8:09 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    How does this apply to trauma's that have happened early in a child's life? Take sexual abuse/misuse for instance?

     
  • At 12:56 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I beg to differ..I have come to realize that if something negative happens in this 'dream' that God has a way of turning the negative into a positive if you stay open to his love. Not that I brought this negativity into my life, unintentionally or intentionally.

    Karen Munoz, Sayville, NY
    kmcully@yahoo.com

     
  • At 1:38 PM , Blogger Lawrence Doochin said...

    Karen,

    We are saying the same thing. Everything is Love, and regardless of the experience, it can be turned from a "negative" to a "positive". I put negative and positive in quotation marks, because there are no absolutes there. What you may describe as negative, someone else may say is positive. When you rise above the level of seeing through the filter of your experiences, it becomes Oneness, Unity, Love. In my book I talk about the sexual abuse that happened to me and how I went through a lot of anger, grief, etc, but I eventually came to see it as Love. It was a gift so that I could remember my Oneness with God in this particular dream experience. I asked for that as the vehicle. It was only when I saw it as a gift, after a long time of a lot of work, that the charge was taken out of the memory of the experience. Now,I have had people say "how could you see such a horrific experience as a gift." This demonstrates that there are no absolutes when it comes to experiences. Someone may be saying that to me, but I was the one who experienced it, and I am saying that it was a gift.

    Much love and blessings,

    Larry Doochin

     
  • At 1:51 PM , Blogger Lawrence Doochin said...

    In terms of how does this apply to sexual abuse that happened, some of that is covered in the other post. First, if this happened to you or a loved one, my heart goes out to you as I know the pain, the guilt, the shame, and the anger that is in there. If those emotions are rising to the surface, you can't "spiritualize" them and try to take it to a higher perspective. You have to give those space to come out, because if you don't, those energy patterns are frozen in you. Even though you are an adult, you react like a child when something in the world triggers the memory. This will happen often, because you are meant to heal. My book, I Am Therefore I Am, can help you understand some of this better, and I would also strongly recommend a new book called The Healing Code, which is a gift from God to help a large number of people heal from experiences like sexual abuse in an easier and quicker way than therapy. If you are releasing the emotions around what happened, there will come a point where you shift to a higher perspective. This will likely flip back and forth for some time, but at some point those emotions and triggers will no longer be there, and you will see the incident from a higher or God perspective. God bless and let me know if I can be of help --- you or anyone going through this can email me through my website.

    Larry

     

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