Friday, June 03, 2011

Honesty

Our daughter, who is 20, is in her first serious relationship, and she is not wanting to fully express her feelings to him about things that bother her. She feels that this might mess up the relationship. What we have told her is that you do not have a relationship unless it is based on honesty. If you are not honest and you do not express your feelings (in a non harmful but forthright manner), what you have is a game. It is a game between two egos, with all kinds of tricks and strategies to get what you want. Have you ever done something to make someone feel guilty? Do you place expectations on someone? These are ploys of the game. When you do these things, you cannot possibly hope to know the other person for who they truly are, because you do not know yourself. You and the vast majority of people in this world are operating from your ego instead of your God self. Being authentic requires being honest --- that is a true relationship.

A true relationship means that you are completely at peace with who you are. You do not need someone to "complete" you. You can be by yourself or you can be with this other person and it doesn't alter your sense of self, your peace, or your joy. In fact, you recognize that you need intervals of both. You need that time to be alone, to commune with God, and you need to be around others as well, because you come to know God through these authentic relationships. You see Him in everyone you interact with, whether that be a lifelong relationship or a very short passing on the street encounter. When you are at peace with yourself, you can truly give without end, as the fountain is powered by God and is endless. You do not take anything away from yourself when you are in service and you are expressing Love. Actually, the more Love you give, the greater the Love you feel as we are One. So you are giving to yourself! A great misconception in this world is that you lose something when you give it. But this is not true. God did not lose anything when He created you. He added to Himself by creating you. This is how creation works.

Being honest with someone you are in a relationship with starts with being honest with yourself. This is the path to true healing. So many people are afraid of being honest with themselves, because they fear things within them. They try to hide things, especially their thoughts which they consider "bad". They fear God will punish them for these thoughts as they are not "holy". As I wrote in a recent post, your thoughts are your own crazy thoughts. They do not have any basis in reality, because only something that is universal is real. Not only are you trying to hide these thoughts from yourself, you are trying to hide them from God. How successful do you think that will be? But if you just open your eyes and wake up from this dream you think is real, you will see that these "bad" thoughts are not from your true self. You are condemning yourself for something that only exists because you believe it. Withdraw the belief and it fades away into nothingness. And what is left after all this is done --- just God.

Just God --- this is all that you ever wanted. When we are in a relationship and there are all these ego games being played, it does have a purpose. At a very deep level you have agreed with this other person to try and help the other one to remember who you truly are. So these relationships help you to become authentic. Too many people run when the going gets hard. This is when the valuable work begins. Because if you can truly listen to the other person and they can listen to you, seeing past these false ego personas, you can see the God within each of you. As you see the God within them, you are concurrently seeing God within yourself, and vice versa. As we see God within, we see God without --- in everything and everyone. And this helps us to remember our Love relationship with Him, for we are the Beloved.

3 Comments:

  • At 10:10 AM , Anonymous Anthony said...

    I feel George Washington said it best, "Be clean both inside and out; neither look up to the rich nor down on the poor; lose, if need be, without whining; win without bragging; always be considerate of women, children, and older people; be too brave to lie; be too generous to cheat; take your share of the world and let others take theirs." You seem like a wise-guy, and for that, I feel fortunate to have found your blog! However, I am not Christian, but I was curious to know who is God to you, or what your take on God and Jesus may be? I have faith in you, that you are apart from many others who worship an exclusively external God; religion gone wild, quite common nowadays! On another note, I have been learning an immense amount about the subjects presented on your home page as of recently; sometimes, especially in today's world, it takes great pain to learn such lessons so thoroughly and appropriately!

     
  • At 5:52 PM , Blogger Lawrence Doochin said...

    Hi Anthony,

    Am I a wise-guy or a wiseguy, or both? LOL. Thanks for your comment. My view of God is not outside of me. He expresses through me, and I am in holy communion with Him, always. God is One. This doesn't mean there is one God (as there is), but rather it mean that God is All that exists. And we are inseparable from that Oneness. As is Jesus. Jesus was just the first to fully recognize his Oneness with God and all that is. "Each" of us is on the same path. Jesus became the Christ when he recognized himself as Love, one with God who is also Love. This is what we have waiting for us. Actually, this is what we have available to us RIGHT NOW. How amazing and blessed! Let me know if you have more questions.
    Love,
    Larry

     
  • At 6:23 PM , Anonymous LINDA said...

    be the same outside as you are inside

     

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