Expectations
Expectations
will bring you nothing but disappointment. Sure, you can expect the
mail to be delivered or your son to take out the garbage, but I am
talking about expectations you have around what your loved ones and
friends should say, how they should act, etc. When we place expectations
on someone close to us, we are giving that person a burden, sometimes a
conscious one and sometimes an unconscious one. And people resent
burdens. In effect, we are saying to them that they are not good enough
as they are --- that they have to change or do something differently to
meet our standard of acceptance. If you love me, you will ...
When a relationship is based on unspoken expectations, it is not
authentic. It is not based on complete honesty which is what centers us
in God. If you and this other person can get to the point where you can
voice your expectations of each other, and you can voice how this make
you feel in terms of resentment and being a burden,
you are breaking down barriers. These barriers have prevented you from
seeing each other for who you truly are. What you have been seeing is a
false image each of you needs to be in each other's eyes, because your
expectations of this other person serve as a crutch that you want in
order to uphold and validate a false image you have of yourself. When
you know your Oneness with Him, no outside validation is needed. You
already have the Kingdom. In marriage, even the belief that your spouse
should love you is an expectation that is false. It is a false construct
that has arisen from society. Imagine the quality of the Love that can
come from your spouse, not because you expect it, but because they want
to give it, joyously and unconditionally. This Love is very close to the
Love that God has for you and you for Him.
An amazing thing
happens when you have no expectations. Everything you receive is a gift!
And you are so very grateful for these gifts which begin to spread to
all areas of your life. How would it feel to be grateful for every
aspect of your life from every experience you have to every person you
encounter?
My new book --- Thirteen Steps To Move From Victim
Consciousness To God Consciousness: Healing Traumatic Experiences,
Including Sexual, Physical, Emotional, And Mental Abuse --- is available
on Amazon
posted by Lawrence Doochin @ 8:58 AM
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